-
-
- The Sin that Destroys Marriage Hebrews 13:4
- Marriage is very important to God. So important that he forbids people from destroying it
- Even if you are married or not married, God has a standard for you towards marriage
- Getting this wrong could cost you everything. Marriage is the holiest of relationships
- You should want to honor God, know what he thinks about marriage and walk it out.
- If you’re dismissive about marriage, you’re dismissing the Bible and you’re wrong.
- The Bible says “the Marriage bed is undefiled” and you don’t want to defile it.
- The Marriage Bed is undefiled.
-
- What does it mean to be ‘undefiled’ that means that its holy. Its set apart. Its different
- If you’re indifferent about marriage, you’re indifferent to what God calls holy. ///
- Even people of the world who don’t know God typically value marriage. They don’t have the same standards that we do, but they still have standards. They know its valuable.
- Jesus said this- Matthew 19: 4-6 READ
- He’s making something clear- God created marriage, Its separate from all relationships, the two are now one, and that no one should separate the marriage (even singles), and the ones in it.
- There’s really 3 components to the undefiled portion of this scripture
- 1 it refers to acts of intimacy in the marriage
-
- Now, this is an adult service and if you choose to have your kids in it they are going to hear what the bible says and the Bible says that people who are married should be consistently performing the natural obligations. It’s a huge part of Marriage.
- 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 (NKJV) READ
- Marriage should be affectionate between the two. Your body does not belong to yourself
- You’re not suppose to deprive each other of this action in your marriage because of Satan
-
- The foundation of this action is built on the ongoing trust and intimacy in the marriage
- This isn’t a Sermon where I unpack the past or ongoing disfunction of your marriage, this is the standard for marriages, if you have marriage problems, and with this, seek counsel
- We serve a God of redemption, forgiveness, hope, restoration. Jesus forgives so should you
- A marriage with great communication will have physical intimacy and it should be ongoing.
- What actions? Its undefiled. God created your body and you should use it. “love is not forceful” so you don’t do what is not agreed upon between the two of you and its only between you two
- Song Of Sol. is a great starting point for biblical intimacy. Climb the tree. Take hold of the fruit
- There is no act that is more intimate for a couple than to “know” each other. Its sacred
- When you deny each other you’re denying what God designed. Its holy. The act is holy.
-
- If you don’t view physical intimacy as holy act that God created, you end up dismissing it, ignoring it, or even worse, taking part of it outside of the marriage bed.
- 2 It refers to the Holiness of the relationship
-
- This relationship is different than all others where the ongoing communication and life creates a relationship and a bond that is different than all other relationships. Kids, friends, parents etc
- Holy is set apart. This is your primary relationship and the bulk of your energy should go to it
- Your friends will change, your kids will leave. Focus on your relationship with your spouse
- And if you’re in a bad season, you can right the ship. Come back to your first love. Work on it
- Ephesians 5:22–33 – Marriage as a picture of Christ and the Church.
- This relationship is what God uses to display to the World what his relationship w us is.
- This is the only relationship you make vows to God in it. I have stood with no one else and made a commitment to death do us part, forsake all others in sickness and in health
- 3 its to be honorable among all
- Whether you are married or not, you are to defend, support and honor every marriage
- A ‘marriage’ isn’t just the responsibility of the married couple, its towards the ones near it
- you don’t come between a marriage, you don’t break a marriage, you don’t befriend someone in the marriage and encourage bad actions and destruction. Celebrate divorce? Grieve!
- A friend that pulls you away from your spouse isn’t a friend. A Christian who is an instrument of the dissolution or detriment of a marriage is against the scriptures. Stay out of others marriages
- “but the church doesn’t stay out of my marriage” If you took care of business, no one would know your business. A man who is so diabolical that he would use God’s holy church as a front to cover up his abusive ways and expect that women don’t talk to each other? They are hurting
- Here’s an idea. Get saved. Mourn over your sin. Deal with your issues. HONOR your wife.
- Fornicators
-
- This verse and the Bible says that God will judge fornicators.
- What is fornication- its sexual intimacy between two unmarried people.
- Its never Ok. God doesn’t approve of it. Not even if you love each other, live together, have been together a long time, are ‘married in Gods eyes’, or have been doing it for years
-
- “God knows my heart” yes, Its deceptively wicked above all things. Your heart is in sin.
- “all sin is equal in God’s eyes” All sin is sin, but not all sin is the same in impact and severity
- Jesus equates fornication with Murder in Matthew 15:19 and says it DEFILES in Mark 7 Paul Describes Sexual impurity as rebellion towards God in Ro 1. He rebuked the church for sexual immorality in 1 Cor 5. He says the sexually immoral will not inherit the kingdom of God in 1 Cor 6 he even continues in 6 to say to flee it, and remind yourself that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He grieves for those who haven’t repented of it in 1 cor 12, lists it as a work of the flesh in Gal 5 and that it “shouldn’t even be named among the saints” in Eph 5 and says we should put sexual immorality “To death” in Col 3. He goes so far to include as part of your sanctification in 1 Thes 4 that you should learn to possess your body with holiness and honor.
- The Bible is abundantly clear- Sex outside of the holy marriage bed is always wrong
-
- We don’t turn a blind eye to this in our church because its important to God
- And again, you’d say “do you investigate all sin equally” well, its impossible when people are such great deceivers, but when you’re publicly declaring to God and everyone that you’re living in defiance to basic scriptures, we can’t sign off on it and look the other way.
- The Book of Revelation condemns it repeatedly
- We’re told to rebuke those who encourage it and it says that the sexually immoral will be excluded from the New Jerusalem. Hebrews says GOD WILL JUDGE THE FORNICATOR
- Maybe you’re sitting here, and you’re a fornicator. You meet the definition-
- Well. Repent. Ask for God for forgiveness and REPENT- Turn away from it and stop
- You might find in whatever relationship you’re in, that stopping it ends the relationship
- That’s probably Good, because that’s not what should sustain a relationship
- Furthermore, you might find that the sexual sin in your life is exacerbating your spiritual growth. You know its wrong you’re continuing in it, and the guilt and shame is there. Stop
- Secondly- If you’re living with the person, or if you have kids, Get married. Be done with it
- It doesn’t matter if it changes your tax status, or some other situation. Get married.
- Because that’s the only way to fix it. Either stop, or get married. If not you’re a fornicator.
- And you might say? Whats the big deal? The big deal is that the creative force and pleasure of the activity is reserved for the marriage bed. Its what separates us from the world
- Stop condemning the sexual perverts of the world if you’re acting like one yourself.
- Its honorable. Its holy. And if you’re fornicating with someone who is not yet your spouse you’re destroying and affecting someone’s future spouse because of your unbridled passion. Stop.
- Here’s whats even worse Adulterers
-
- An adulterer is someone who steps out of their marriage relationship to have relations with someone else who is not their spouse. Break covenant and defile the marriage. God will judge
- I don’t think it necessarily requires a deep or revelatory explanation to a modern church
- Everyone knows that adultery is wrong and that it shouldn’t be happening ever.
- The writer of proverbs in chap 5 to his son of an adulterous woman that- Her feet go down to death, Her steps lay hold of hell.
- Ex 20:14 says You shall not commit adultery Paul says- Ro 13:9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
- And there’s a seed of adultery. No one sets out to commit it. But it Jesus says it start in the heart
- The standard of Jesus is Matthew 5:28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
- You don’t want to commit adultery. I’ve counseled many through the pain and shame of it.
- And if you’re in it, stop. If you see it coming on the horizon run. Consider it death and flee
- That’s one of the parts of Affair proofing your marriage- Get your mind right
- Don’t entertain thoughts about other people outside your marriage. Renew your mind
- Flee any other sort of sexual immorality. Don’t feed your brain with pornography and fantasy
- Do everything you can to build up your marriage. Make your marriage a primary focus
- And its not what causes it, but it doesn’t hurt, stay attractive to your spouse. They married you when you looked a certain way, try to stay as close as possible to that person.
- Pursue your spouse. Don’t take them for granted. See them for the treasure that they are.
- Date them. Fawn over them. Buy them gifts. Do stuff with them.
- Don’t talk bad about your spouse in your heart or to anyone else. Control you tongue
- Don’t talk bad to your spouse either. See them for the treasure that they are
- All the scriptures about treating people correctly still apply to your marriage. Live it out.
- Hebrews says that the marriage bed is undefiled, but Jesus says in Mark 7 that Adultery defiles a man. Its what stains it and destroys it. You must avoid it at all costs.
- Why is it so bad? Not just because of the breaking of the vow, but it destroys what is holy
- Marriage is a covenant made in blood and when you share that blood with someone else, it mixes your covenant with someone with whom you are not in covenant with
- Why is it important
-
- Church, don’t think God is trying to keep something from you. He’s trying to give you something. He’s protecting the greatest earthly relationship He ever created.
- Its important because a horrible marriage is a horrible life
-
- I cant fathom or understand why people would live a day in a conflict they could resolve
- Bible says “don’t let the sun go down on your anger” and “make peace with your adversary”
- But some people love to continue in conflict. Not God’s design. Create a marriage you love
- Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom you love
- When you have a marriage you love, you have a life you love because you’re living scripture out
- Its important because Kids flourish in a house of love
-
- Many people have the deepest traumas of their life because their parents couldn’t fix it
- Someone cheated. Someone beated. Someone didn’t love and lay down their life.
- Kids learn love and the Gospel by watching their parents walk it out. Live for their conversion
- Live in such a way that your kids know you love, forgive and serve each other deeply.
- Psalm 128: 1-4 Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways. 2 When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. 3 Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table. 4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the Lord.
- Kids in loving homes have problems. Kids in destroyed homes typically have worse problems.
- Its important because God’s design was for you to have help in marriage
-
- The marriage relationship is the greatest place for discipleship. They see how you live and they are in the greatest place to help you see your blind spots and help you grow into christ
- God knew that sanctification would happen best in close covenant.
- So He gave you someone who would walk beside you, encourage you, confront you, forgive you, and help you become more like Christ.
- Ecc 9:9-10 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.
- Not just in the day to day tasks, but in the deep recesses of your wicked heart to see the light
- Learn to love, serve, give, die to self. Marriage is a great place for personal discipleship.
- Its important because it Shows saved people are changed
-
- Have we been saved and changed by the Gospel? Our marriages should reflect it.
- When we meet Jesus, and we are forgiven from our sins, it changes us. We become more loving, more forgiving. We become worshippers and we become people who will carry our cross
- Col 3: 12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.
- What Good is our Gospel to the lost if there is deep hypocrisy within our primary relationship?
- If we’ve been changed by the Gospel, our lives should be changed. Every last part of it.
- Its important because It Tells the story of the Gospel of redemption
- The story of redemption is Christ as the bridegroom coming to redeem his bride
- He laid down his life for his bride. He died for her to be saved. There were no limits
- And one day when he returns the bride will rejoice for her bridegroom has come
- And we, as his bride maintain hope in the midst of trails that he will return
- Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
- We forgive quickly because he has forgiven us and will forgive us
- We stay committed to Christ through every trial because he is committed to us
- We walk in love, grace and mercy because he has shown it to us.
-
For more sermons please visit our SERMON PAGE
Please subscribe to our YOUTUBE PAGE
