“When Esau was forty years old, he took as wives Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite. And they were a grief of mind to Isaac and Rebekah.” Genesis 26:34-35 NKJV
Last week we saw Isaac’s example of persistence as he dug well after well until he finally found one that worked. Now in verses 34-35 we see that while Isaac was out digging wells, Esau was out taking wives. At the age of forty Esau married two Hittite women.
There are 139 references to the idols and the pagan gods worshipped by the Hittites and Canaanites. Their culture is one of paganism, where there’s no room for the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
Esau’s parents, Isaac, the one who builds altars to the LORD, the one who prays in the field seeking God’s best, and Rebekah who followed God’s direction to go with Abraham’s servant to begin a new life, were heart broken and grieved.
These seem like two simple little verses, but they carry huge significance. Esau married two Hittite women. These marriages “made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah.” Esau was rebelling against God’s design, and against his family’s design for marriage in two key ways.
First of all, both Abraham and Isaac have modeled a monogamous marriage between one man and one woman for life, in accordance with God’s original design in Genesis 2. While Abraham slept with Sarah’s handmaiden, this was culturally understood to be different from marrying her. In practice, both Esau’s father and grandfather remained faithful to their one wife for all the days of their life.
Esau is upsetting his godly parents by marrying more than one wife. Some people today are unfortunately trying to follow Esau’s example by having numerous partners, and even trying to legalize polygamy as an acceptable form of marriage. Pastor Israel Ford of LifeWorks Church in Wickliffe, Ohio (near Cleveland), sparked widespread public attention and controversy in October 2026 after he and his first wife publicly announced that they are living in a polygynous marriage.
On Sunday, October 25, 2026, Lydia Ford (Israel’s first wife and co-pastor) introduced Minister Shakayla Talley Ford to the congregation as her husband’s second wife and her “sister in marriage,” revealing that the three had shared a home and finances for nearly three years.Israel Ford defended the arrangement on social media and in church messages, claiming that traditional monogamy is “unbiblical” and that he and Shakayla shared a dream regarding polygamy before a 40-day fast and prayer period.
Good grief!
Secondly, Esau is violating God’s and his family’s design for marriage by marrying outside of his people. Do you remember just a few chapters earlier how many hoops Abraham was willing to go through so that his son would marry a woman from his own family? The longest chapter in the book is dedicated to the story of Abraham’s servant finding a wife for Isaac from their family line! Yet, Esau doesn’t seem to care about how important and significant marriage is: he just goes and grabs some local girl to marry, and then another.
The person whom you marry probably has more influence on your spiritual journey than any other person on this earth. I praise God that He has blessed me with a godly husband. Matt has been an incredible source of strength for me in my walk with the Lord.
God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship between one man and one woman for life; that marriage was designed to make each other holy and to glorify God.
Instead, our culture has followed after the way of Esau: we don’t hold exclusivity of the marriage bed in high esteem and encourage a multiplicity of sexual partners; we don’t think that relationships need to be between two people of likeminded religious beliefs but encourage pluralism. And we are reaping the punishment for our actions as we witness countless relationships fall apart and countless consequences of sexual infidelity.
Jesus tells us that we’re to love on people. He also tells us that we’re to be of the world but not in the world. Except for a very few of us who might be called to be a monk, we’re not to isolate ourselves from people outside of our faith. You can’t love on the people of the world if you’re not engaged with the people of the world.
So we’re to help people, love on people, witness to people that are of the world. You can and should show the LORD’s love to people of the world as their paths come near or intersect with yours.
But, if you’re yoked with someone on a worldly life path, it’s inevitable that you’ll be drug off the LORD’s path at some point. It’s just a matter of time until the yoke that you share will pull you off course, off the path that God has in mind for you and onto a different path, a worldly path.
Jesus said, “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.” (John 15:19)
We are not of this world! Even though we’re to love the people of the world, we’re not to yoke ourselves to those of the world.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.” Therefore “Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you.” “I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty.”” II Corinthians 6:14-18 NKJV
A yoke is a wooden beam or frame used to join a pair of draft animals (such as oxen, horses, or mules) at the neck or head so they can pull a heavy load or plow together. You cannot yoke an ox with a donkey, they are not equal to one another and so your fields will be thrashed. Esau yoked himself to wives who were of the world and it grieved Isaac and Rebekah. Yoking yourself to an unbeliever will always cause grief.
Paul put it very candidly when he said, Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. In other words: Yoke yourself with people who are also of Christ. Yoke yourself with those who follow Him.
Yoke yourself with others who love Jesus. If you do you’ll find that God’s spirit will dwell with you and walk among you. You’ll be blessed. But the opposite is also true-
Esau’s marriages became a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah, illustrating the emotional and relational strain caused when a child rejects the family’s core values.
This event reinforces Esau’s portrayal as someone driven by immediate physical or worldly impulses, mirroring his earlier sale of his birthright for a bowl of stew, and foreshadows further family discord.
Some of you here tonight are polygamists, and some are pluralists
“For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. For if he who comes preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or if you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted—you may well put up with it!” II Corinthians 11:2-4 NKJV
I have espoused you to one husband. The Apostle Paul, writes to the Christian church in Corinth. Paul compares his care for the believers to a parent who has promised them in marriage exclusively to Christ. God is our Father, who has redeemed the church and is preparing her to be a pure and holy bride for the soon-coming Bridegroom, Jesus Christ. Yet, we set up another lover in our hearts.
We have a good Heavenly Father that is grieved deeply when we “marry” other things.
The greatest failure of Israel was that they were called to be the virgin bride of the Lord and yet they played the harlot with the surrounding cultures. We are in Joshua, and they are commanded to go into the promised land and drive out and destroy all of the Canaanites. But they do not, and those cultures become a snare to Israel. God called them adulterers, they were married to Yahweh, but had multiple lovers.
The greatest threat to our heavenly engagement is the world and its culture. Because we live in this world, we are surrounded and influenced by its culture everyday. We are to be a pure and spotless bride, in robes of white righteousness- but what happens when you throw a red article of clothing in a load of whites? (Pause) Faith washed my white shirt with her blue jeans
“If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” James 1:26-27 NKJV (people stop after the first part)
We are to keep ourselves unspotted. But much of the church is pink.
Keeping ourselves unspotted is a constant battle.
When we are yoked to what the Lord despises, it brings Him great grief. You cannot miss this. We cannot be married to the world and its ways and married to the Lord at the same time. That makes you an adulterer and a polygamist. We become no different than Esau having two pagan wives.
“Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4 NKJV
Scripture warns believers that choosing to be a friend of the world makes you an enemy of God. The verse uses strong language (“adulterers and adulteresses”) to describe spiritual unfaithfulness: giving your devotion, love, and loyalty to worldly values and culture.
Let’s define “The World”: This does not mean hating other people or avoiding normal daily life. We live in this world. We work in this world. WE have dealings in this world. WE cannot take ourselves utterly out of the world and isolate. “The world”, as it relates in scripture refers to a fallen system of humanistic thinking, pride, selfishness, materialism, culture, ways and rebellion against God’s standards.
“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.” I John 2:15-16 NKJV
Worldly friendship means adopting the world’s values, seeking status, and self-serving desires that directly oppose God’s holiness.
You cannot have a dual allegiance. You cannot simultaneously chase self-centered worldly desires and remain devoted to God’s will. It is a conscious choice- keep yourselves unspotted. Aligning your lifestyle, values, and affections with the anti-God culture places you in direct opposition to Him
WE do not act like the world, talk like the world, dress like the world-
“Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind, for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, that he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh for the lusts of men, but for the will of God. For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles—when we walked in lewdness (sexually obscene or indecent, impurity), lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries. In regard to these, they think it strange that you do not run with them in the same flood of dissipation, speaking evil of you. They will give an account to Him who is ready to judge the living and the dead.” I Peter 4:1-5 NKJV
The passage refers to former friends and associates or other non-believers who are surprised, confused, or offended when a Christian stops participating in their old lifestyles.
The old lifestyle is described by a behavior that others can visibly SEE- Describe my life before and after Christ. People will not understand! “You think you are more holy than we are” NO! I do not. In fact, I think I am worse than you. I have just been changed. I have a new Father and a new husband.
Because the believer steps away from these things, the outsiders insult, malign, and slander them.
There is a stark contrast between a life lived in accordance with the world and a new life in Christ. A changed life stands out and acts as a silent critique of destructive habits, ways and patterns, which often provokes hostility from those still in them.
People raised in a lukewarm Christian environment, may not do drugs, drink or have sex; but they just adopt the world’s culture in other ways because they have not been taught what is means to be holy and set apart.
“Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”” I Peter 1:13-16 NKJV
Notice that we are not automatically holy because He is holy, as some teach. But holiness is also a pursuit. It is a daily turning from something to something. It is not only inwardly, but it is outwardly expressed.
According to the Bible, holiness has two main parts: separateness and moral purity.
1. God’s Holiness In Hebrew (qadosh), holiness primarily means “to be cut off,” “unique,” or “set apart”. God’s holiness means He is completely distinct from His creation, the Creator rather than a creature, transcendent, and above all rivals.
God is Absolute Perfection. God is free from any evil, darkness, or moral flaw.
“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!” And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke. So I said: “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The LORD of hosts.””
Isaiah 6:1-5 NKJV
By repeating “holy” three times, Scripture reveals that holiness is the core of who God is. So we could say, all His characteristics flow from this main one- God’s love is holy. God’s goodness is holy. God’s faithfulness is holy. God’s provision is holy.
2. Human Holiness (Being Set Apart for God) In Position- Believers are made holy (“sanctified”) through faith in Jesus Christ. This means God claims them as His own exclusive property. In Practice- Because God is holy, His people are commanded to reflect His character: “Be holy, for I am holy” This involves turning away from sin, coming out of the world, living by God’s Word, and letting the Holy Spirit guide daily actions.
To say that “I am under grace, I can live as I want”, has no place in Scripture.
“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled; lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright. For you know that afterward, when he wanted to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no place for repentance, though he sought it diligently with tears.” Hebrews 12:14-17 NKJV
An inward expression of holiness cannot stay inward- it must be expressed outwardly.
Words of our mouth- cursing, slander, gossip
Appearance- how we present ourselves, I am going to step on some sacred cows. what women wear- Paul told the women in Corinth to wear a head covering- (you can find this in 1 Cor 11:2- 16) baldness was a sign of temple prostitution And immodesty. There are things that are immodest- revealing your stomach, too much skin, bikini pics, if clothes don’t matter, why don’t you go naked? If you would rather be sexy than holy, why? There is a place and time to be sexy ladies- in the marriage bed. Your husbands want a sexy wife. Pastor’s wife and daughter “this is cute” who told it was cute?
WE want to be culturally relevant. If you are honest, we are all a little pink.
Tattoos- On the church altar?? Paul told the same church that it was lawful to eat food offered to idols, but those idols have demons associated with them. Tattoos have pagan roots. Why is that the first rebellious thing a kid does it get a tattoo? Tattoo shops are dark. There are real demonic forces in the world. I do not believe that it is a sin, but if you want to look like the world, why?? Why is it that important to you?
Halloween- demons are associated with haunted and dead things, it is not benign
“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God both raised up the Lord and will also raise us up by His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” I Corinthians 6:12-17 NKJV
ALL Other Actions- We live in a way that honors God not just with our heart, but with our body. Can someone look at you, your life, your actions, what you do/do not do and say, “That person is different?”
Here’s what I know about all this- if you by your freedom to wear something, do something, or go somewhere; causes your brother to sin, then you are in sin. These things reveal selfishness and a lack of love for the Bride and the Bridegroom.
And it grieves the heart of God. In Genesis it grieved God that He had made man because man became so full of evil. It a term that describes someone who is angry and yet is deeply sad at the same time.
I like red hair. Matt does not. I got red highlights that I had to change. I told this story at a a women’s event and one lady said to me, “I would never do that!” And i told her that is
why she has been married 3 times. I am not under any law to not have red hair- I want to please my spouse, not bring him grief
I pursue holiness for no other reason than I love the Lord and I want to please Him and not grieve Him. You may call it legalism, I call it love.
“Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.” Romans 13:8-14 NKJV
The LORD does not give us a set of rules to follow, but He makes His standards very clear. If your relationship to Him is that of love, you will do what HE says without hesitation. If you hesitate, it is because you love someone you have placed in competition with Him, mostly yourself. We want what we want. I am embarrassed of some of things I used to do, even in Christ. I humbly repent and move on in pursuit.
The commandments of God are not restrictive; they are protective. Our freedom exists in the ability to choose to live responsibly within the context of the protective guidelines God has established for our life. The false grace gospel has changed the meaning of grace and love. This is in fact teaching “another Jesus”.
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.” Titus 2:11-14 NKJV
Grace is a teacher of righteousness. Grace teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts.Grace acts as an instructor or trainer. Instead of leading to a careless lifestyle, true saving grace transforms a believer’s behavior and cultivates self-control. Extreme efforts at self-discipline without the grace of God lead to legalism, perfectionism and result in destruction
Grace teaches us to reject all ungodliness and worldly lusts – The word ungodliness describes a person’s attitude and posture specifically toward God. It is the active or passive failure to honor, respect, or fear God. It is to live as though God does not exist or matter.
“Worldly lusts” refers to all improper desires pertaining to this life – the desire of wealth, pleasure, honor, selfishness, sensual indulgence. It refers to the passions the people of this world are prone to. Worldliness grieves the Father. We do not want to be polygamists or pluralists. We have one Husband and His doctrine is the only one we should know and follow.
Fighting the world and its ways is HARD. Culture is demanding. It is hard to be different. It is hard to be set apart. It is hard to say NO. IT is hard to crucify your flesh and your feelings. It is hard to go against the grain. It is hard to be rejected. I am not standing here telling you it is easy and that I have done this perfectly. But I am endeavoring to live holy and set apart for the God that died for me and that I love with all my heart.
Here is the salve- we are in a process
John 17:17 “Sanctify them through Your truth: Your Word is truth.”
Sanctify them – This word means “to render pure”, also means “to consecrate, to set apart to a holy office or purpose.” God has a purpose for you- to be set apart and holy for Him, to give Him glory and honor, to live as His obedient child in a perverse world.
When you come to CHrist, you are a vessel full of the world’s contaminated water. You cannot just be dumped out, that’s not how the Holy Spirit works. He begins flowing into us as a steady stream of clean and pure water. The more pure water comes in, the bucket will begin to spill out the contaminated water.
“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.” I Thessalonians 5:23-24 NKJV
Sanctification in the life of a Christian is progressive, but it also is a conscious choice. It consists in becoming more like God and less attached to, or like the world; in getting the victory over evil thoughts, and passions, and impure desires; and in becoming more and more weaned from worldly ways, and attached to the God who saved you.
You are not done and HE is not finished. He has not left you alone because you have messed up. HE is accomplishing this process in you, you have to let Him have His way and quit fighting His faithful and merciful hand. He loves you and wants good thing as for you.
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