Peace in the Bedroom 1 Corinthians 7:1-9
-
- If you are joining us for the first time, we go verse by verse and here is where we are today
- 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 (Nlt)7 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.[a] 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.
8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.
- A few weeks ago I spoke about a message named “Why Sex” – covenant
- And today I feel like this is an addition to that, more like – Spanish 102
- Some of is asking Paul these questions – I love how the Lord uses people to ask or address questions that we would otherwise not ask
- In this case, it’s in the form of a question. We will not get to heaven and say that “well, that was never brought to my attention” – God is always speaking
- And tonight, I urge you to listen attentively. Dismiss what you have already set in your mind that this message means to you- and trust the Holy Spirit to interpret it to you based on what He sees in you right now
- Paul jumps right in and state “regarding the question of sex that you asked in your letter, Yes, it is a good to abstain from sexual relationship – Some version say “ Touch”
- Paul is not saying that they are not supposed to have sex with their spouses, he is addressing the heart condition and the culture that surrounds the church of Corinth
- He says yes, if you can live without sex, please do – meaning that everything (whether good or bad) has a price
- But if having a spouse to keeps you from immorality, each man should have his own wife and each wife should have her own husband
- The husband should fulfil his wife’s sexual needs – and all the women said?
- And the woman should as well fulfil their husbands’ sexual needs – can I get an Amen?
- Up to this point its all sounding amazing and sounds but the next set of words changes everything
Culture
- Vs 4 (Amp) The wife does not have [exclusive] authority over her own body, but the husband shares with her; and likewise the husband does not have [exclusive] authority over his body, but the wife shares with him.
- The first part about woman not having authority over her body is a given at this time in history- however the last part about a woman owning the husband’s body – those are were fight words!
- To you and I reading this there is nothing outside the normal (Current culture) but for these guys in the city of Corinth and the area in general it was unheard of
- What do I mean? – This was a male dominated community and the woman belonged to the man and were demanded to submit to the man – But not the other way round.
- A wife was one seen as a property of the man. Her role was to stay and home and has babies – that was their primary role, and it was common for men to have concubines and also frequent the brothel
- So, telling man that not only they had to stop their side endeavors and submit their bodies to their wives – was like a big NO to this society
- And that woman has authority over their husbands’ bodies was crazy
- It meant that when men accepted this fact, it would be worse than breaking the brotherhood code, it was changing a societies ideology and they had to be ready to accept ridicule, and shunning from others
- How many of us know that when we come to Christ, He gently start to strip and challenge the way we have been doing things and how we see things?
- This is exactly what’s happening here. A change in imminent
-
- Paul continues to remind them that they (Husband and wives) should not be depriving each other of sex
- Except if they are fasting and they both choose to do this together to honor God
-
- The issue here was that they were all going to the extreme – Some would think that because they were abstaining from sex, it made them more Holy
- Paul continues to remind them that is good to stay single – it’s not a commandment but a preference
- That whoever is single can dedicate their life to Christ and Christ alone
- And like Pastor Matt said on Sunday, we all (most of us) love to be married but its takes work
- This evening I want to speak to you about fostering peace in the bedroom
-
- Peace can only occur if two people consent to it:
- freedom from disturbance; tranquility.
- a state or period in which there is no war, or a war has ended.
- Unfortunately, as Christians, we can keep it together here for an hour two and show that all is well in the camp – unknown to us there is a war going in the most inner sacred room of you home
- The Bible likes the relationship that a man and woman have with the relationship Christ has with the church
- Imagine it was the opposite – that you are keeping it together at home only to fight in the Church
- Its sounds silly, yet…many homes are broken this way – many refuse to address this
- Peace can only occur if two people consent to it:
- The Word that has come forth this year is that God will be shaking up things and hidden things will be revealed
- Sex and the purity of the marriage bed is one area that has come up so much of late – God is wanting us to take this as a warning to cleans ourselves, get rid of any sexual sins and mend relationship starting in our homes
- If there is not peace in your bedroom – take heed because this is a crack that bleeds offense
- Offense is the best tool of the enemy – He provides the ingredient and you put on an apron and make a meal that you will eat alone
- The devil wants to discourage sex in the marriage and encourage sex outside the married bed
- What is causing war in the bedroom? Is it offense, demands that you have, your attitude, your past, e.t.c?
1. What am I owed?
- We can all agree that our society is different from when Paul was writing the churches, however people are people
- Unfortunately, the idea of me, me, me and what I am owed has always been there and I think it gets worse with the influences we have especially over the young people in developed worlds
- I honestly don’t remember us growing up and saying mine – I am sure its bleed to our African culture
- Example – my car/house – Kids
- There is nothing wrong with having possessions, the issue comes when we don’t know where to draw the line
- Yes, those are your clothes…. please keep them but when we have something in common that needs to be shared, then we have to be careful that selfishness does interfere
- A marriage is a covenant, and when you have a covenant, there are requirements
- One wife for one husband
- Husband must fulfil their marital duties to his wife and vise versa
- The husband has exclusive rights to the wife and vise
- Be available to each other – don’t deprive each other of sex – Paul says come together again, and again and again – so the enemy does not tempt you
- The Bible says that when we give our lives to Christ, we enter into a covenant
- John 1:12 (Amp) 12 But to as many as did receive and welcome Him, He gave the right [the authority, the privilege] to become children of God, that is, to those who believe in (adhere to, trust in, and rely on) His name
- As soon as you said yes to Jesus, you have the RIGHT to be a Child of God
- You enter into a covenant that the Lord adopts you as a child, there are no restrictions- You have access to Gods kingdom and everything in it
- Ephesians 5:31-32 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”[a] 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one
- They become one – when there is war in the bedroom, you are fighting against yourself
- This is a great mystery- an illustration showing the relationship requirement as one of Christ and the Church
- If you have war in your bedroom – how can you convince me that you understand the love of Christ and the Church
- If you listen to me carefully, I am not saying that Women should give it up and man you should be getting some no matter what – what I am saying can be summarized in:
- Ephesians 5:21 -25 (Nkjv) submitting to one another in the fear of [a]God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
- Husband, are you giving yourself to you wives as Christ has given Himself to the Church?
- Before you say yes- The standard is the Cross
- Wives have you submitted yourself as the Church has received Christ – and I am not talking about a lukewarm church – That’s the standard is a priest with a rope tied to the leg
- A smart person commentated and said “Sexual deprivation in marriage has not only to do with frequency (Which Paul encourages – again and again) but with romance also- render to your spouse the affection due
- Imagine if Christ was there for you, but deprived you of affection, intimacy – His presence? – That is not even possible in Christ – You become a Child of God
- When we deny physical affection and sexual intimacy to our spouse, we are essentially cheating them – robbing them the benefit of a covenant that was made before God
- In Matthew 18 – Jesus is responding to Peter on how many time we should forgive
- Matthew 18”23-35(Nkjv) Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
- “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down [e]at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you [f]all.’ 30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34 And his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. 35 “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother [g]his trespasses.”
- The King is settling debts with his slaves and one of the slaves owes him $3.48 Billion
- He says, sell him and his wife and kids plus everything that he owns
- The servant pleads with the king , have patience with me and I will repay you everything – which is impossible
- The Master is moved with compassion and released him and forgave him of the debt
- The slave goes and finds one of the other slaves that owes him money
- And he demands his $5,300 that was owed to him
- He seized him and began to choke him – the aggression
- And the slave who owed money pleaded with him to be patient with him only to be unwilling
- He had him thrown in prison until he could repay – which would be impossible since he is in prison and can’t work- he had him captive forever
- And when the king heard about this, he demanded that he be arrested and thrown to Jail to be tortured
- You my friend are here because you were forgiven – you owe way too much that you couldn’t pay back even if you tried – What are you owed that is greater than that which you have been forgiven?
- Unfortunately, I feel in the Spirit that there are many here today and online that have the power to stop the wars in their bedroom by forgiving their spouses
- How should we forgive?
- Matthew 18:21-22 (Nkjv) – Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
- Not 490 times only – Infinity – beyond counting
- What are you owed, or what do you owe- Maybe you need to beg for mercy -for forgiveness
2. War against each other equals Distraction
- I have said over and over that I love reality tv – a.k.a National Geographic
- I don’t know how many times; I want to yell at the giraffes fighting and they cannot see a pride of 10 lions plotting the take down
- It doesn’t matter how tall and strong it is
- Bro if y’all don’t stop fighting against each other- its game over for both one of you guys or both- Just Stop!
- 1 Peter 5:8 (Nkjv) Be sober minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour
- Paul is actually hope that people would not marry and be like him – and this is because he knows that if we don’t have self-control and react by bringing or allowing war in the bedroom, there is way more at stake
- Can I be honest with you? – Here it is – All this is not about you!!
- 1 Corinthians 12: 12-13 (Nlt) The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[a] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.
- 1 Corinthians 12: 26 (Nlt) If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.
- The target is the Church! – Jesus is coming back for the Church
- Paul concludes – that is better to stay like him or like the widows devoted completely to the Christ – away from distraction
- But if that is a distraction – Then get married and keep peace in your bedroom
- Here is where to start – Decide to fight for peace in your bedrooms by fasting and praying together
For more sermons please visit our SERMON PAGE
Please subscribe to our YOUTUBE PAGE
