Love Hurts (2 Cor 2:1-11) *All verses in NLT*
– 2 Cor 2:1-11 (NLT), So I decided that I would not bring you grief with another painful visit. 2 For if I cause you grief, who will make me glad? Certainly not someone I have grieved. 3 That is why I wrote to you as I did, so that when I do come, I won’t be grieved by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy. Surely you all know that my joy comes from your being joyful. 4 I wrote that letter in great anguish, with a troubled heart and many tears. I didn’t want to grieve you, but I wanted to let you know how much love I have for you. 5 I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. 6 Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. 7 Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overcome by discouragement. 8 So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him. 9 I wrote to you as I did to test you and see if you would fully comply with my instructions. 10 When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, 11 so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.
Who is “the man who caused all the trouble” and hurt them?
– Paul is talking about the man he confronted them about in his first letter. There was a man in the congregation having an affair with his father’s wife, and the church was allowing it.
– Some in the congregation were proud of themselves for being so accepting and loving. Others were deeply hurt and offended by it. Paul issued a harsh rebuke to the church in Corinth!
– 1 Cor 5:1-5, I can hardly believe the report about the sexual immorality going on among you—something that even pagans don’t do. I am told that a man in your church is living in sin with his stepmother. 2 You are so proud of yourselves, but you should be mourning in sorrow and shame. And you should remove this man from your fellowship. 3 Even though I am not with you in person, I am with you in the Spirit. And as though I were there, I have already passed judgment on this man 4 in the name of the Lord Jesus. You must call a meeting of the church. I will be present with you in spirit, and so will the power of our Lord Jesus. 5 Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns.
– Paul continues, “Your boasting about this is terrible… remove this wicked person from among you.”
– Paul displays real pastoral wisdom and compassion here:
- He doesn’t call out “the man” by name. Knowing this letter will be read by a lot of people, the point of calling out his sin is not to “cancel” him, but teach the church how to deal with it.
- The end goal is that the man finds repentance, and “will be saved when the Lord returns.”
– Notice: The man didn’t stumble into some sin and need some help back. He didn’t back-slide for a couple months. That’s not what we are talking about. Paul gives instructions for that too…
– Gal 6:1, Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.
– No, the man was openly living a lifestyle of unrepentant sin. That’s TOTALLY different! Jesus said…
– Matt 18:15-17, “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.
– The good news is that it apparently worked! The Church punished him, and the man repented.
- Tough love hurts.
– 2 Cor. 2:4, I wrote that letter in great anguish, with a troubled heart and many tears. I didn’t want to grieve you, but I wanted to let you know how much love I have for you.
– Being disciplined is not fun. It’s not fun to be the one issuing out the discipline either.
– Paul recognized that his last letter to them was heavy-handed, and probably hurt their feelings. Writing that letter grieved Paul too, but they needed to be corrected.
– It was for their best interest, even though it would have been easier to say nothing, the consequences would have ended up being more severe. They needed tough love.
– Paul later embraced the need to put them on blast… their spiritual lives depended on it!
– 2 Cor. 7:8-10, I am not sorry that I sent that severe letter to you, though I was sorry at first, for I know it was painful to you for a little while. 9 Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way. 10 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.
– The goal of discipline should not be punishment; it should be behavior modification.
– It can’t be punishment for punishment’s sake… there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel, or people will simply lose hope. Without hope, they are likely to give up… and spiritually die.
– Example: Healing Thru Service, 1950s study on rats by Richter, a professor at John Hopkin’s Univ.
– Rats were placed in a glass container with no edges. They would swim around for a couple minutes, even dive down, but when they realized there was no escape, they gave up and died.
– Rats are excellent swimmers and can hold their breath for up to 3 minutes. This wasn’t a fitness or ability issue. Richter said this, “The situation of these rats scarcely seems one of demanding fight or flight. It is rather one of hopelessness… the rats are in a situation against which they have no defense… they seem literally to ‘give up.’”
– Using this hypothesis, he started with different rats, this time, just before the rats gave up, he would lift them up out of the water, hold them, then place them back in the water…
– After that, rats swam for hrs, even days, before succumbing to exhaustion. What changed?
– They had hope of being saved! Richter observed, “When [the rats] had a reason to keep swimming, they did… After the elimination of hopelessness, the rats do not die.”
– We are not rats, but human studies have also shown a strong correlation between suicide and hopelessness. A common predictor of suicide among those experiencing mental illness or depression is the reported feelings of hopelessness and loss of social structures.
– When we become isolated, and feel like we are drowning, we will lose hope, just like the rats did!
– Proverbs 13:12, Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.
– Romans 15:13, I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
– Hodge said, “When the offender is made to feel that, while his sin is punished, he himself is loved; and that the end goal is not his suffering but his good, he is more likely to be brought to repentance.”
– James 5:19-20, My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, 20 you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.
* We need to remember to NOT give up on people. Remember, the Lord didn’t give up on you!
– 2 Peter 3:9, The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.
– Luke 15:7, In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!
- It’s time to forgive.
– Luke 17:3, …“If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.”
– The man was punished, it caused him pain, leading him to repentance… next step is reconciliation.
– 2 Cor. 2:5-8, I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt all of you more than he hurt me. 6 Most of you opposed him, and that was punishment enough. 7 Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overcome by discouragement. 8 So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him.
– You might be wondering where the line is drawn?
– The church accepted the man and looked the other way on his sin… Paul condemned them.
– The church then cast the man out, like Paul said to… Now Paul says to receive him back.
– The man truly repented! Church discipline worked, it’s over, now reconcile the relationship!
– It is hard to forgive… even harder to forget. Especially when YOU have been harmed…
– It is our obligation as Christians. We have been forgiven much… we must also forgive.
– Mark 11:25, But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.
– Matt 6:14-15, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.
– When I reflect on what I would change in my past, it mostly centers around the times I hurt other people, and said and did selfish and hurtful things…. I remember it and it humbles me…
– I don’t want those moments to define me. I’m not that person… so it humbles me deeply, and makes me want to extend grace to others when they hurt me too. (example: car window smashed…)
– People make bad choices, but we don’t what our bad choices to define us forever, so we shouldn’t do that to others either. (The story isn’t over; there is more life to go…)
– Remember, (1 Cor 6:11) “And such were some of you… But you were washed…”
– At some point you have to let it go. The Lord has forgiven you when you were his enemy. It’s your turn to forgive “them” …and forgive yourself…
– Col 3:13, Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
– Psalm 103:11-12, For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. 12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.
- Don’t let the enemy win.
– 2 Cor 2:10-11, When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too. And when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, 11 so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes.
– Verse 11 in NKJV says, “lest Satan should take advantage of us…”
– The Greek word here conveys the idea of cheating someone out of something that belongs to them. (i.e. Taking our promises and inheritance… things like peace, joy, fellowship, forgiveness, and victory.)
– We know what the schemes of Satan are:
- He is a liar! He twists the scriptures, and leads you to believe that the world’s lies truth.
- He is a tempter! He sets the table with PRIDE, greed, selfishness… invites you to partake.
- He is a manipulator! Twisting situations and words… pitting you against each other…
– Satan’s style reminds me of a nature show I watched about how wolves hunt: Wolves are successful hunters because they are smart.
– Wolves don’t ambush prey, they stalk them, show themselves and see how the prey reacts.
– They will follow them, for days sometimes, assessing the weak or isolated, and wait patiently for the best time to move in.
– They are “endurance predators”, they will chase prey for miles if necessary, and simply exhaust their prey. Their prey dies when it finally gives up.
– When we leave a wounded brother or sister isolated and out of community, after they have repented, keeping them out of “the herd”, it’s like leaving them for the wolves.
– When we forgive, we outsmart Satan and his schemes.
– We must “live” our Christian virtues, even when we don’t want to… otherwise we give ammo to the haters to condemn us by our own actions… If you are unforgiving, you make the mockers right.
– The world is looking for a reason to call us hypocrites, and when we turn on each other, we give it to them. (If you’re short-tempered, rude, curse, selfish, etc… Satan can use that against the gospel.)
– 1 Peter 3:8-9, Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.
– prayer –
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