DO YOU USE YOUR EMOTIONS to manipulate others? Do you sulk and pout when things don’t go your way? Do you use self pity to try to control what someone else does? Stop it. I’m reading in 1 Kings concerning Ahab and Naboth’s vineyard. Within a few Scriptures, it’s repeated that he had a certain attitude when things didn’t go his way, “So the king of Israel went to his house sullen and displeased (angry), and came to Samaria.” 1 Kings 20:43. This was in connection with being corrected by a prophet. Read a little further,
“So Ahab went to his house sullen and displeased (angry) because of the word Naboth the Jezreelite had spoken to him; for he had said, ‘I will not give you the inheritance of my fathers.’ 1 Kings 21:4
This second time he got angry in connection with not getting what he wanted. What kind of grown man sulks and throws a tantrum when he is corrected and does not get his way? The moodiness here described is rather that of a wayward and spoiled child, than of a man of mature years and high position.
How and when did this attitude start? Was it from a child? When he did not get his way he threw a temper tantrum until his mommy gave in to his demands? And so for years, this wicked practice went unchecked until he found a woman who would manipulate and feed into his tantrums? I’m speculating here, but regardless of his pathology; the Bible condemns his actions, not just for a king of Israel but as a grown man.
Unfortunately, I know a lot of grown men and women who use sulking to manipulate. How do you act when you don’t get your way? How do you act when you’re disciplined and corrected? In communication, when someone brings something to your attention that you don’t like, do you “defend, deflect or deny”? Sulking and throwing a temper tantrum is deflecting from what you did. It’s a way to make someone feel sorry for you, instead of you owning your actions and words. You have not so learned in Christ.
How you receive correction says a lot about your maturity. Whether you are content or discontent when you don’t get your way says a lot about your maturity. Paul had some choice words for the Corinthian church,“But I, brothers, could not address you as spiritual people, but as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready, for you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?”
1 Corinthians 3:1-3 ESV
Give people time to grow and develop, absolutely! But at some time, you have to grow up. If you’re five years old in the Lord and still wearing diapers and needing a bottle, we have a problem. Just as we are to train our children in righteousness and obedience, baby Christians need to be trained. We don’t permit tantrums.
Be a friend and correct the young Christians in love, teaching them how to accept instruction and correction. If you always give in to people’s sullenness and poor attitude, you are training them to continue to manipulate. My friend, this is not good and righteous behavior. It is wickedness to manipulate anyone by any source, including tears. Manipulation is a wicked device of the devil. Bullying to get your way is also a form of manipulation. Stop this behavior. TRAIN yourself to be content in all things. (Training requires discipline and controlling your mind and thoughts) This was the mind of Paul,
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have LEARNED in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13 ESV
You will not always get your way. People will tell you “No”. In fact, God will tell you, “No”. And He is not manipulated by your tears. Parents, don’t be manipulated by your children. This will produce bad seeds. You don’t want to reproduce an Ahab or a Jezebel. These names are synonymous with wickedness. Let others instruct and correct you. You will really find out your maturity in Christ when someone tries to correct you concerning your parenting. Don’t be defensive. Take your licks like a man. Manipulation is witchcraft.
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